Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
