you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
