you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
