I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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