We're facebook friends in real life
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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