Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
