sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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