"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
