you guys were way drunker than both of me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
