i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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