I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Pants 0. Shit 1.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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