is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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