So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
