YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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