I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
