how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
