remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
So many bounce houses so little time
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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