shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Randomize
