Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
it's like iHOP with fire
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
