I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
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There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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