So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
