she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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