Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
ugly people sure do ruin things
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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