Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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