i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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