Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
