how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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