Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
