I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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