It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
