guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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