Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
