how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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