i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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