The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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