Ambien. No doubt about it.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
