If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I don't think brook has ever known best
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
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Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
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I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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