did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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