he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
