Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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