Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
