They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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