no one should ever give us hovercrafts
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
