two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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