Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize