Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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