ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
