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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  yo i have your phone

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  ... oh so you probably won't get this message

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• (858): View more from California

  You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.

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• (831): View more from California

  I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (804): View more from Virginia

  Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.

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• (951): View more from California

  Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (360): View more from Washington

  No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.

  (1-360): View more from Washington

  You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.

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• (986): View more from

  He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?

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• (226): View more from Ontario

  my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.

  (226): View more from Ontario

  I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.

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