Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?

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  (412): Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option? (412): I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be? http://tfl.nu/cvc8
  Replies (82) Good night (2882) Bad night (630)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  ugly people sure do ruin things

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  (214): ugly people sure do ruin things http://tfl.nu/4ggc
  Replies (33) Good night (1140) Bad night (3309)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Your favorite bartender is back from prision

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  (563): Your favorite bartender is back from prision http://tfl.nu/uuje
  Replies (12) Good night (6531) Bad night (873)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  I ordered a moonbounce.

  (813): View more from Florida

  Fuck, you win.

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  (813): Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party. (1-813): I ordered a moonbounce. (813): Fuck, you win. http://tfl.nu/qedv
  Replies (39) Good night (10581) Bad night (1174)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out

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  (410): I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out http://tfl.nu/hdo3
  Replies (12) Good night (1259) Bad night (3570)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.

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  (248): Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages. http://tfl.nu/po3d
  Replies (12) Good night (3369) Bad night (828)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".

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  (303): exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake". http://tfl.nu/t5lj
  Replies (7) Good night (672) Bad night (1393)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..

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  (505): Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore.. http://tfl.nu/qq6k
  Replies (8) Good night (1236) Bad night (650)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.

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  (907): I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks. http://tfl.nu/ytg5
  Replies (2) Good night (985) Bad night (491)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..

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  (217): The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car.. http://tfl.nu/pl9j
  Replies (7) Good night (716) Bad night (1159)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.

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  (480): She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine. http://tfl.nu/3eun
  Replies (6) Good night (769) Bad night (321)
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  (949): View more from California

  Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley

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  (949): Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley http://tfl.nu/vphj
  Replies (0) Good night (575) Bad night (252)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"

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  (802): I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass" http://tfl.nu/qu0i
  Replies (5) Good night (327) Bad night (785)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.

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  (706): Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News. http://tfl.nu/9z5o
  Replies (5) Good night (698) Bad night (239)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.

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  (419): Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate. http://tfl.nu/uh2w
  Replies (3) Good night (477) Bad night (204)

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