Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
