It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
