so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.