Texts From Last Night

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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  i permit you to call me

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  (575): i permit you to call me http://tfl.nu/5lhr
  Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (561)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.

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  (864): The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college. http://tfl.nu/rxu2
  Replies (21) Good night (2685) Bad night (620)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days

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  (973): but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days http://tfl.nu/g4qr
  Replies (20) Good night (3806) Bad night (660)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20

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  (919): i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20 http://tfl.nu/xo20
  Replies (72) Good night (5496) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.

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  (856): So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished. http://tfl.nu/vhfi
  Replies (4) Good night (3500) Bad night (806)
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  (518): View more from New York

  All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up

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  (518): All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up http://tfl.nu/3pu3
  Replies (16) Good night (747) Bad night (4961)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.

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  (813): It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow. http://tfl.nu/0mxe
  Replies (18) Good night (1706) Bad night (5328)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis

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  (215): This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis http://tfl.nu/mvim
  Replies (17) Good night (1589) Bad night (2736)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest

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  (507): 2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest http://tfl.nu/nadf
  Replies (6) Good night (848) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.

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  (207): Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills. http://tfl.nu/z8zj
  Replies (6) Good night (819) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?

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  (612): She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy? http://tfl.nu/le82
  Replies (16) Good night (1013) Bad night (713)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!

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  (705): There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!! http://tfl.nu/7xwk
  Replies (2) Good night (869) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.

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  (337): Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work. http://tfl.nu/3b5u
  Replies (8) Good night (1536) Bad night (437)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.

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  (812): My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out. http://tfl.nu/0i9m
  Replies (5) Good night (415) Bad night (539)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.

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  (225): Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day. http://tfl.nu/xkaq
  Replies (3) Good night (548) Bad night (179)

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