My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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