Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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