Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize