I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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