tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
