butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
