Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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