The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
