If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
