My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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