can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize