you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
