If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
