My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
