Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
