When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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