how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
