I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
this hospital has no fireball
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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